Since the legislator should begin by considering how the bodies
of the children whom he is rearing may be as good as possible,
his first care will be about marriage—at what age should
his citizens marry, and who are fit to marry? In legislating on
this subject he ought to consider the persons and the length of
their life, that their procreative life may terminate at the same
period, and that they may not differ in their bodily powers, as
will be the case if the man is still able to beget children while
the woman is unable to bear them, or the woman able to bear while
the man is unable to beget, for from these causes arise quarrels
and differences between married persons. Secondly, he must consider
the time at which the children will succeed to their parents; there
ought not to be too great an interval of age, for then the parents
will be too old to derive any pleasure from their affection, or
to be any use to them. Nor ought they to be too nearly of an age;
to youthful marriages there are many objections—these be
lacking in respect for their parents, who will seem to be there
and disputes will arise in the management of the household. Thirdly,
and this is the point from which we digressed, the legislator must
mould to his will the bodies of newly born children. Almost all
these objects may be secured by attention to one point. Since the
time of generation is commonly limited within the age of seventy
years in the case of a man, or of fifty in the case of a woman,
the commencement of the union should conform to these periods.
The union of male and female when too young is bad for the procreation
of children: in all other animals the offspring of the young are
small and ill-developed, and with a tendency to produce female
children, and therefore also in men, as is proved by the fact that
in those cities in which men and women are accustomed to marry
young, the people are small and weak; in childbirth also younger
women suffer more, and more of them die; some persons say that
this was the meaning of the response given to the Troeaenians—the
oracle really meant that many died because they married too
young; it had nothing to do with the gathering of the harvest.
It also
conduces to temperance not to marry too soon; for women who
marry early are apt to be wanton; and in men too the bodily
frame is
stunted if they marry while the seed is growing (for there
is a time when the growth of the seed, also, ceases, or continues
to
but a slight extent). Women should marry when they are about
eighteen years of age, and men at thirty-seven; then they
are in the prime
of life, and the decline in the powers of both will coincide.
Further, the children, if their birth takes place soon, as
may be reasonably
expected, will succeed in the beginning of their prime, when
the fathers are already in the decline of life, and have
nearly reached
their term of three-score years and ten."
—
Aristotle, Politics, Bk. 7, 1334b–1335a
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Io: I know not how I should distrust
you: clearly
you shall hear all you want to know from me.
Yet even as I speak I groan in bitterness
for that storm sent by God on me, that ruin
of my beauty; I must sorrow when I think
who sent all this upon me. There were always
night visions that kept haunting me and coming
into my maiden chamber and exhorting
with winning words, “O maiden greatly blessed,
why are you still a maiden, you who might
make marriage with the greatest? Zeus is stricken
with lust for you; he is afire to try
the bed of love with you: do not disdain him.
Go, child, to Lerna’s meadow, deep in grass,
to where your father’s flocks and cattle stand
that Zeus’s eye may cease from longing for you.”
—
Aeschylus, Prometheus Bound, 640–660
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Helen: There you are.
Oh, dear Electra, Clytemnestra’s daughter.
But you poor girl, still not married!
—
Euripides, Orestes, 71–73
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Clytemnestra: I shall think of this
as a good omen—
Your kindness and good works—for I am here,
Hopefully, to lead this young girl
into a noble and a happy marriage.
Now, will you take the dowry from the wagon—
All of her bridal gifts which I have brought.
Carry them into the pavilion carefully.
And you, daughter, put down your pretty feet
And get out of the carriage. All of you
Maidens take her into your arms and help
Her down.
And now, will someone lend me
The support of an arm, that with greater
Ease I may dismount—stand in front, please,
Of the horses’ yoke—see the colt’s eyes are
Wild with terror!
Now, this is Agamemnon’s son.
Take him—his name is Orestes—and he’s
still quite a helpless baby. My baby,
Are you still asleep from the rolling wheels?
Wake up and be happy. This is your sister’s
Wedding day! You are noble, and so
You will have a nobleman as kin,
The godlike child of the Nereid.
My child, Iphigenia, come sit next to
Your mother. Stay close beside me and show
All these strangers here how happy and how
Blessed I am in you!
—
Euripides, Iphigenia in Aulis, 608–629
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But when [you went] to the marriage
bed [of a husband] then you forgot all
that you heard from [your] mother
dear Baucis; forgetfulness. Aphrodite brought it on.
-Erinna, The Distaff
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Heraclides takes as his lawful wife Demetria of Cos from her
father Leptines of Cos and her mother Philotis. He is free: she
is free. She brings to her
marriage clothing and ornaments valued at 1,000 drachmas. Heraclides shall
supply to Demetria all that is suitable for a freeborn wife. We shall live
together in whatever place seems best to Leptines and Heraclides, deciding
together.
"If Demetria is caught in fraudulent machinations to the dishonor of her
husband Heraclides, she shall forfeit all she has brought with her. But Heraclides
shall prove whatever he charges against Demetria before three men whom they both
approve. It shall not be lawful for Heraclides to bring home another woman for
himself in such a way as to inflict contumely on Demetria, nor to beget children
by another woman, nor to indulge in fradulent machinations against Demetria on
any pretext. If Heraclides is caught doing any of these things, and Demetria
proves it before three men whom they both approve, let Heraclides return to Demetria
the dowry of 1,000 drachmas and forfeit 1,000 drachmas of…silver coinage.
Demetria and those representing Demetria shall have a right to exact payment
from Heraclides and from his property on both land and sea, as if after a
legal action.
— Contract of marriage, translated by Sarah Pomeroy, 1984
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Now outside [my father's house] I am
nothing. Yet I have often
Observed women's nature in this regard
How we are nothing. When we are young in our father's house
I think we live the sweetest life of all humankind:
For ignorance always brings children up delightfully.
But when we have reached maturity and can understand,
We are thrust out and sold
Away from the gods of our fathers and our parents,
Some to foreigners, some to barbarians,
Some to joyless houses, some full of reproach,
And finally, once a single night has united us,
We have to praise our lot and pretend all is well.
—
Sophocles, Tereus, 6–12
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But for our lady's hand
Who were the two valiant contenders in courtship?
Who were they who came out to struggle in bouts that were
All blows and all dust?
One was a strong river with the looks of a high-horned
Four-footed bull
Achelous from Oneiadae; the other
Came from Thebes of Bacchus
Shaking his back-sprung bow, his spears and club
the son of Zeus. They came
Together in the middle, desiring
Her bed. Alone, in the middle with them, their referee
Cypris, goddess of love's bed.
Then there was thudding of fists and clang of bows
And confusion of bulls' horns;
And there was contorted grappling,
And there were deadly blows from butting heads
And groaning on both sides.
But the tender girl with the lovely
Eyes sat far from them on a hillside
Waiting for the one who would be her husband
So the struggle raged, as I have told it;
But the bride over whom they fought
Awaited the end pitiably.
And then she was gone from her mother
Like a calf that is lost.
—
Sophocles, Women of Trachis, 503–530, trans. M. Jameson
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Of all things who breathe and have intelligence,
We women are the most miserable creatures.
First we have to buy a husband at a steep price,
Then take a master for our bodies.
The second evil is worse than the first, but
The greatest contest turns on whether we get a bad husband
Or a good one. Divorce is not respectable
For a woman and she cannot deny her husband
Confronting new customs and rules,
She needs to be a prophet, unless she has learned
At home how best to manage her bedmate.
If we work things out well and our husband
Lives with us without resisting his yoke,
Life is enviable. Otherwise it is better to die.
A man when he is tired of being with those inside
Goes out and relieves his heart of boredom
Or turns to some friend or contemporary.
But we have to look to one person only.
They say we have a life secure from danger
Living at home, while they wield their spears in battle.
They are mistaken! I would rather stand three
Times beside a shield than give birth once.
—
Euripides, Medea, 230–251
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Hymenaios, attendant of marriages, did not bless you in the house,
Plangon, but wept for your perishing outside. Your mother dissolves
at your misfortune,
nor do the sad groans of lament ever leave her.
— Fourth-century Attic grave inscription
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Timarete, the daughter of Timaretos,
before her wedding
has dedicated her tambourine, her pretty ball, the net
that shielded her hair, her hair, and her girl's dresses
to Artemis of the Lake, a girl to a girl, as is fit.
You, daughter of Leto, hold your hand over the child
Timarete, and protect the pure girl in a pure way.
— Anonymous epigram, quoted in Anthologia Palatina, 6.280
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